Several years ago, it was announced that seven is the right number of times to thank a donor for a major gift. While this is good advice, a problem arises if our goal in saying “thank you” becomes reaching the magic number of seven instead of giving our donor complete assurance that we are grateful for the gift and are using it to fulfill his or her philanthropic goals.

What is the point of saying “thank you”? From one perspective, it is to cultivate the relationship so you receive future gifts. But beyond that, fundraisers should share the excitement of what is happening because people like this donor are so generous. Whether the gift is $25 or $250,000, the giver is hoping to make a difference. What that difference is may vary in the donor’s mind, but doing something good is part of what motivates a person to give.

People want to make an impact in the world, to know that their very existence had meaning, and giving a donation is one way to accomplish that.

Tony Robbins, in his TED talk “Why we do what we do,” outlines six human needs that motivate our actions. Three of the six directly speak to giving a charitable donation: significance, connection and contribution.

So how do we say “thank you” seven (or more) times without sounding disingenuous? The secret is to grab every opportunity, even those that are often overlooked. For example:

For all gifts:

• Online giving is on the rise. Does you auto-response for a donation sound sincere and like a personal conversation, or does it merely meet IRS (and your accountants) requirements? Avoid making an auto-response email look, read, and feel like it’s an auto-response.
• Make sure the letter that is attached to or mailed with the official receipt is genuinely thankful and donor-focused. Are you answering their question, “Did my gift make a difference?” Are you demonstrating the impact?
• If you raise money from many donors for a specific project, report back on that project in your newsletter (electronic or print). When we run from one urgent need to the next, it’s easy to forget that our supporters want to hear results in a reasonable amount of time. You may not be ready to say, “We finished!”, but you can let them know there is progress being made and their giving helped. That you couldn’t have done it without them.

For Major Gifts:

• Sending a warm thank you letter matters, but that can’t always be done immediately, So pick up the phone or write a brief email and say “Wow! We just got your gift and it means so much!” Sincerity, timeliness, and authenticity are the most important.
• Send a photo that illustrates something the donor is making possible. It doesn’t have to be professional quality; it just should tell a story that will resonate with the donor.
• Ask other staff who are involved in the project that the donor funded to send a thank you, as well. (Photos are great here, too.) You may need to provide coaching or even a sample template, but unexpectedly hearing from someone else, often on the front lines, involved in the project can be very powerful.

Our donors want significance, connection and to contribute. When carefully planned and meticulously implemented, our thank you process – be it seven times or not – can provide those basic needs and increase the likelihood of a relationship that lasts and transcends a simple donor/charity relationship.