Like millions of Americans, I have a dog. Without question, she loves me. She’s not perfect, but that’s OK, because she loves me.

Think about your donors. Do they know you love them, or do they feel like just one of many? Do they get upset when you make a mistake and go find another nonprofit to support? Do they just disappear, never to be heard from again, for no reason you can pinpoint?

If you’re like the majority of nonprofits in the United States, you have to answer “yes” to those questions. Just look at the overall donor retention rate. Research from the Association of Fundraising Professionals (AFP) tells us that on average, 54 of every 100 donors who gave to you last year will not give again this year. And it’s worse for donors who gave you their first gift last year; three in four of them will not give to you again this year.

These are sobering realities for any nonprofit.

There are a lot of reasons why donors stop giving. Some we can’t help. But others are self-inflicted wounds:

• We don’t listen. A donor asking a question is an inconvenience; whenever possible, we push it aside to deal with later. But later never comes. Meanwhile, the donor feels unimportant to your organization.
• We aren’t flexible. When a donor asks to receive less mail, we either ignore the request or cut them off from all communication. Now that will teach them! No, that will lose them (to us) and send them straight into the arms of another, more flexible organization. Instead, offer alternatives for communication other than “take it or leave it.” Often suggesting a step down – from mail every month to mail only 8 times a year, for example – will satisfy a donor.
• We don’t say “thank you.” Receipts that come two or three months after a gift – or don’t come at all – send a very loud message: my gift didn’t matter to you.

Ask yourself this: What would be the very best experience you could give your donor? Dream big. For now, forget what’s affordable and what you have enough staff for, and instead visualize the absolutely best experience you can imagine. Once you have the perfect scenario in your mind, start talking to others about how you can make that a reality (or at least get closer than you are now).

A famous Chinese proverb says, “A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.” Let’s start walking!