All of us have been there: sitting in hours of back-to-back zoom calls when nature calls and… well, you’re not allowed to answer. If only there was a way you could look like you were there when …you really weren’t.

Enter Charmin.

Now, these people have already done us a solid by being in the TP business. After 2020, if you’ve managed to keep your supply chain under control as a toilet paper manufacturer, God bless you. The market really went to pot last year when panicking hoarders wiped out the TP stock of countless stores across America.

In 2021, Charmin is going above and beyond the call of duty with the development of a technology that lets you discreetly take a restroom break during video calls: the BRB Bot.

How it works

The technology of the BRB Bot works by giving the user prompts to react to and recording their response on video – for example, “lean in to listen better” or “pretend someone just said something interesting.” Then, when you’re on a call and need to step away, you turn on the BRB Bot. By using AI, machine learning technology, and language and tone analysis, it will evaluate the flow of conversation and insert the responses that feel most natural in real time. When you’re ready to return to your meeting, simply get back into place and turn the bot off.

Knowing that a mid-meeting potty break is just a BRB Bot away would truly be a relief.

The catch

If you’re wondering how you can get the BRB Bot for yourself, you’re out of luck. Despite the fact that Charmin has developed this stupendous technology, it is not releasing it for the use of the general public. Who knows though? Perhaps we can get together a petition to request its release, and put an end to this loo-nacy.

Charmin’s marketing strategy

Charmin has been on a roll with high-tech marketing gimmicks this year. In January, they developed the Rollbot, a robot that can bring you toilet paper whilst you remain enthroned, effectively enabling you to never be caught with your pants down again. The company also entered the NFT fray by auctioning off a piece of digital toilet paper art as a NFT(P) in March. Just because you sell paper bathroom products doesn’t mean you can’t be tech savvy.

When it comes to marketing, Charmin, you’re number 1.